i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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