I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
