Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
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