i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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