Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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