I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
