ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
