I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
