Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
