Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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