when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Randomize
