census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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