They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
