She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
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