TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
