Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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