Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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