You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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