I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
