If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
