So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
