if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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