This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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