Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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