For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
