so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
