Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
