I can tuck mytits in my pants
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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