apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
are you so shy because you have an std?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
