thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
