Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
