Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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