Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
