He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Sorry my hands just texted you
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize