Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
