just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
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