Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I take back everything I said about communal showers
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
