i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
