Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I believe in your delicious
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
