my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I FOUND THE LEGS
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
