1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
