We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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