I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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