Acid is not a monday night drug
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
