Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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