it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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