The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
