Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
