Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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