If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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