Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
