yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
wow bdsm is so cute
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
