How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Randomize
