Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
