it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize