we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
