my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
