the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
