My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
we're making bets on your personal life
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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