From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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