i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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