A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
