You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
